A Long To-Experience list, just one life!

With chaos taking place in her heart, she bid him a peaceful goodbye!

It hadn't even been a year since they moved apart and the reason why it happened, must be better left unsaid. It was the first time they were meeting each other and probably the last time too. However none of them dreamed that their first meeting could be this awkward.
Why do we all need a closure, and why that closure never really shuts everything off. That's what she was thinking, out loud in mind. Neither she wanted to talk about it nor did he care to mention this at all. 
They were here to meet each other, to see the person they fell in love with even long before they met. They both were there to end a relationship that lasted longer than their true feelings. 
It was easy for him to say "I love you but, there is nothing that can be done"; Darn! it was difficult for her to grasp what he just said. Her whole world sank in a breath. Took her that whole night to recollect and accept what she heard. From him.

*Doesn't love find its way. You may give up on people but You just don't give up on love. Okay, so may be he just gave up on me...* 

So you are in your 30's and till now you were fine being single with no notion to settle down like ever?Then comes a day when a girl just happens to you out of nowhere. Yes, you were not looking for a relationship but she turned your world upside down and you are just loving it. Though, you wonder how did it happen especially when you were enjoying your single-hood, busy buying crazy stuffs like that telescope on auction or n number of headphones for no reason, spending money with no thoughts of saving any for future and converting your room in a small zoo by having variety of pets like dogs, aquarium and a parrot. And yes, not ready to change yourself for anybody.
But now, you want to change yourself. You are planning to expand your house. Looking at couples makes you want to reach her and claim her yours. And kids, Oh my god, you are witnessing too much cuteness showering from those little creatures playing in a nearby park. Settling down which was never on your list, seemingly you are ready for it.Well not to forget, lately you have been day-dreaming of having a baby girl with the girl you're in love with.
Hang on! Are you really sure that she is the one or you are just imprisoned of an emotional breakthrough. Changing yourself seems fine to you now, but don't rush to settle down before you do a little fact-check and these reasons may fall true for you.

• Marry her cause she isn't a goddess, she is a diva who lives on her own terms and respects yours too. Comfort zone or space bubble you both have talked it through and are ready to offer unasked space to each other.
• Marry her cause she is philosophically challenged and made of tough reality. "Never change yourself for anybody", seems no true to you guys anymore. Change is inevitable. You are changing yourself a bit and she too compromises whenever need be.
• Marry her if she is totally okay with you falling asleep while your are on Skype with her. How many hours? Doesn't really count. She is happy to be with you all the while you are sleeping and may eventually fall asleep too.
• Marry her if she is the one who asks you to checkout random girls in a mall. She pinches you and point out the girls who ogle at you and giggle. You know that moment you fall for her all over again.

मैं ढूँढती हूँ तुझे उन जगहो पर जहाँ तू हो नही सकता. (I look for you in places where u can't be)
दिल ही तो है, क्या समझाना इसको, ज़िद करता है, करने दो, खुद-ब-खुद समझ जाएगा.

खुद की मनमानियाँ कभी पूरी हुई हैं भला, ये मनमानियाँ तो खुदा की होती हैं, होने दो.
दिल ही तो है, क्या समझाना इसको, ज़िद करता है, करने दो, खुद-ब-खुद समझ जाएगा.

पुरानी किताब से सरक कर गिरा पैरो में ख़त उसका. सोचा फैंक दू,
पर पढ़ के मेजपोश के नीचे रख दिया फिर कभी ना पढ़ने को.
दिल ही तो है, क्या समझाना इसको, ज़िद करता है, करने दो, खुद-ब-खुद समझ जाएगा.


गुमे बंद लिफाफे सी ज़िंदगी, कभी तो पहुँचती के जहाँ का पता था लिखा, अब कौन उसे समझाता कि वो पता ही बदल गया.
दिल ही तो है, क्या समझाना इसको, ज़िद करता है, करने दो, खुद-ब-खुद समझ जाएगा.

बादल का छोटा टुकड़ा जो देखा आसमान मे उड़ता हुआ, सारी रात जगा बरसात देखने को.
दिल ही तो है, क्या समझाना इसको, ज़िद करता है, करने दो, खुद-ब-खुद समझ जाएगा.

अच्छा हुआ आँख फडकी, तूफान के आने का अंदेशा पहले ही हुआ. एक आख़िरी बार दिल संभाला, जो फिर चूर हो के बिखर गया.
दिल ही तो है, क्या समझाना इसको, ज़िद करता है, करने दो, खुद-ब-खुद समझ जाएगा.

उसकी परेशानियो का इलाज तो हकीम लुक़मान के पास भी नही, तू नाहक इस दिल को दोष देता रहा.
दिल ही तो है, क्या समझाना इसको, ज़िद करता है, करने दो, खुद-ब-खुद समझ जाएगा.

(Photo credits: Own painting)

More often we lose something or someone in the path of life and interestingly, we know the reasons behind.


We stumble, wander, break down and we know why.
A few vague decisions taken entirely on our own may not be fruitful and disappoint us and we know that too.

People keep on telling us that it's all our fault, it's us who put everything on stake and that we could have tried different means. It's not that they are wrong, but their ignorance that whatever #$^%!~ they are trying to console us with is something we already know. I guess there is no end to their preaching and our own teachings to us.


Nothing happens without our consent either consciously or subconsciously and we know it. When people go through a situation (anything I mean) it is necessary for them to get a little breathing space of their own. All they need is just a little bit of lone time to come out of it. Too much interaction can lead one to either be repulsive or a silent storm that would explode if pushed any further.

The gist is, if we understand anything or everything, it is advisable to understand the fact too, that in most of the cases a person doesn't need constant preaching and "talks" but a comforting silence of one's presence in his life. Ends here!

P.S. You know why Time is said to be the best healer, why a person who is depressed find solace in isolation. The answer is right up there.
Finally ends here. ;)
(Photo credits: a page from my diary with a preserved gifted flower and some scribbling.)